he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
