Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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