Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
