i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
