you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
