The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
