True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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