its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
