he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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