y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
