On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize