I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
