Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
