i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
