I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
