we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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