Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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