oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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