Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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