On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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