Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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