We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
