Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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