ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
