i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
