Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
