I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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