Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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