I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
