We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
