I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
