he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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