I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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