end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
