Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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