i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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