I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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