Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize