You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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