I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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