My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
