What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
