I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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