Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
