i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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