So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
