arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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