He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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