She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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