My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
