just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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