"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize