so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
