You made me cry and you don't even care
I just made out with a guy for $7.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
